#also remember when you could format a post as a question

[aethercurrent]

The Incident in the last tags was in relation to leer aka eden rewrite.

check-ins required gdocs. which, like, fine, whatever. bothersome since that thing is laggy as SHIT on my end but i'll live.

i thought

now, you see, i'd been having a wretched time. lowest of the lows i'd had in a while. working on leer had been nothing but the little bit of joy i had at the time. it's nice to work on something experimental and seeing it come together after all! then, The Incident. i paste leer into gdocs thinking it'll be fine.

leer, experimental as it is, is in screenplay format. meaning fully edited and formatted, it looks like this.

leer was nearly finished at that point. it had 60k of its 77k words.

all the formatting was gone. uploading the darned thing didn't make the formatting work either, because the universe fucking HATED me that day. so guess which person going through a hysterical breakdown laugh-sobbing as it progressed, was forced to re-align already aligned text. because the mods said it needed at least the base formatting.

and THAT's why i have a blood feud with gdocs

also read leer please

[feeder86]

Feeder 86: The Top Ten

Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?

This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time. 

Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!

So, with that being said, let us begin...

#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!

#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.

#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.

#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.

#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.

#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.

#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...

If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.

#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…

#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet. 

Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…

Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!

Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…

#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion. 

With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control. 

The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…

So, there you have it! The the complete list!

This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...

So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.  

Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.

Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.

Happy 200 stories!

Feeder86

[victoriadallonfan]

Let's Talk About the Alien vs Predator Films

Talk about wasted potential, am I right?

I'm struggling to format this in an interesting way, since so much has been covered over the past 20 years since the first film was released. You can read my thoughts on Aliens Franchise and the Predator Franchise as well.

Note that it doesn't include Alien: Romulus, but suffice to say it was a good movie!

I think the best place to start is with covering the themes of Alien and Predator, and the history before these films were created (and the failure of Fox).

My fellow AvP enjoyer @agendergorgon has already posted some thoughts on the topic, giving me a lot to think about, so check out their blog too!

For the purposes of this review, I am not going to include Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection, Prometheus, nor Alien: Covenant.... mostly. The AvP films really don't take much of anything beyond the first two films, though I will touch on Prometheus when it comes to religion.

Ditto for the Predator films, but that's because Predator wouldn't get a third film until 2010, 3 years after the AvP duo.

The themes of Alien Franchise:

I'm sure the first thing to come to mind is that the Alien series is about sexual assault, and you'd be correct. The xenomorph is designed to be extremely phallic, the facehuggers quite literally rape their victims, Burke locks his victims (including a child) in a room to be raped, Ash tries to murder Ripley by thrusting a rolled up porn magazine down her throat etc etc.

Some of you might also remember how Aliens was noted by James Cameron to be a criticism of the Vietnam War, Corporate Greed, and the callous arrogance of the US Military. The xenomorphs represented the innumerable "faceless" soldiers that could overwhelm more advanced enemies with ambush tactics and numbers, Burke thinks only in "goddamn percentages" and how this could benefit himself and the company, and the Colonial Marines are not only woefully mismanaged a newly brought on commander but also completely delusional with their own sense of invulnerability, only to break and panic under pressure once they meet a foe who is determined to fight to the death.

(I will NOT be tackling the fucked-upness of comparing people fighting for their independence vs a fucking Xenomorph, because holy fucking shit, it is literally the opposite AND worse counterpart to having the Predators be colonizers)

But, in the broader scope of the series, Alien - and the xenomorph - represent the uncontrollable, unfathomable, unknown. What are they? Why were they there? What are their motives? How did they end up in that ship? Were they built? How do they 'see'? Why did the xenomorph spare Jonesy the Cat? Are they intelligent life? How on earth do they function with their bizarre biology?

We don't get any real answers to these questions in the original films. The whole point of these movies is that there are things that mankind does not understand, and the horrors of space are vast. And equally terrifying is the arrogance of man (and synth kind) to think they can harness this horror for profit at the expense of human lives.

The themes of the Predator Franchise:

There's been tons of articles on how Predator is either a reconstruction or deconstruction (depending on who you ask) of the 80's action hero flick. A team of muscle laden, big gun toting, sweaty men spouting off one-liners as they mow down their enemies in a secret CIA led operation during the Cold War, interrupted by the presence of an intergalactic hunter than treats these badasses like mere toys. The massive Arnold Schwarzenegger is smacked out like a mouse facing off against a particularly cruel cat, needing to rely on tricks - not his brawns or guns - to stay alive and eventually defeat the Predator.

Others might point to its related take down of machismo. The opening scene is rife with characters testing each other's physical strength against each other such as with Dillon and Dutch, Ventura and Dutch have a small face-off in the helicopter as they try to make a pecking order, Ventura makes a whole speech about being a "sexual tyrannosaurus" and then mocked about sticking a gun up his "sore-ass", Hawkins repeatedly tries to make pussy and sex jokes, and they end up with a single woman in the group who is treated more like an object and baggage than a person for much of the movie. All of these men are emasculated by the Predator, some of them not even lasting a single second to its predations (both in tech and physicality), all of them losing any sense of quips and confidence, and the sole woman of the group survives because she didn't fit the movie's (and Predator's) mold of "tough as nails". When Arnold/Dutch is rescued by helicopter, it's not a cheerful one; he's haunted by what he endured and remains silent as the film pans into his thousand-yard stare.

All of this applies to Predator 2 as well, amping up the violence, dick measuring, and rules of the Predator targeting anyone who thinks they are tough shit for carrying a gun or knife. Even Danny Glover's victory is bittersweet, because he is now left in the middle of dozens of officer deaths, and entire subway car filled with corpses, and an antique flintlock pistol that promises the return of the Predators to Earth.

In a much broader sense, the Predator films are about the oversaturation of violence and lack of care for human life. Predator 1's main plot before he arrives is the CIA using Green Berets and then Dutch's special ops team to clean up their dirty work, giving them false information and not even reporting the Berets being MIA in furtherance of their Cold War goals (slaughtering guerrillas who were working with Soviet Russia). In Predator 2, the police are seen as being ineffective because they trample on each other's jurisdiction, with the Federal task force being willing to kill their own cops to keep the Predator existence a secret and letting it hunt people down for a better chance at capture and experimentation.

The Predator creatures are the epitome of such greed and arrogance. They are the General Zaroffs of The Most Dangerous Game, taken to a new height by showing that human lives literally mean nothing to them beyond a trophy hunt. They care nothing about our social lives, our politics, our loved ones, because for them this is nothing more than the equivalent of posh British Elite going on a Fox Hunt: cruel and sadistic, just to placate their egos. They will violate the corpses of the dead and taunt those in mourning, for the thrill of the game. And in that sense, the Predators are very human antagonists: they are not unfathomable nor are their goals beyond our understanding. The horror of the Predators is that they are creatures we can understand, communicate with, and even see similarities in their culture to ours... and that culture is putting us on a trophy rack alongside other skulls of creatures they felt a thrill to hunt.

So, did the Alien vs Predator films cover even half of these topics?

Well... kinda? Just... not well.

Not well at all.

The Build Up

Alien and Predator have a connected history dating back to the creation of the Predator itself. Stan Winston was on a flight with James Cameron some time after the famous director had finished with Aliens, and the director made a comment about wanting to see a monster with mandibles, which eventually led to the creature we know and love today.

Predator's debut on screen was also often compared to Aliens due to the superficially similar premise of a team of commandos going on a mission and fighting an unknown alien threat.

Despite what some people think, the AvP series wasn't started by the films.

Yes, there was a particularly memorable scene in Predator 2, where the City Hunter is admiring his trophy room and a xenomorph skull can be seen mounted on the wall (though, fun fact, it's actually an inaccurate depiction as xenomorph skulls look more humanoid facing), but that wasn't the first time the duo met in media.

And I'm not referring to the 1993 Arcade Game either (since that only came out a year after Predator 2).

The Alien vs Predator comic first appeared in 1989. And there were publications continuing ever since.

Think about that going forward. There was 25 years of content to choose from, storylines they could adapt, interesting forays into the cosmology and interactions between Yaujta, Xenomorphs, and Humanity.

The movies used exactly none of it (barring 1 thing: the Predalien).

Alien vs Predator (2004)

The plot of this movie is that Weyland-Yutani corporation detects a heat bloom under the ice in Antartica that reveals an underground pyramid, and in a race against his competitors, Weyland rounds up a team of elite experts led by Lex Woods to investigate the ruins (and find that the Predators have left them a convenient tunnel to enter the deep ice). Only to find out that this was a trap, as the pyramid comes to life activates a Xenomorph Queen, unleashing a brood of facehuggers on the helpless crew, all the while the Predators hunt them down. After a spectacular shitshow and release of the Xenomorph Queen, Lex and the last Predator (Scar) have to reluctantly team up to escape the pyramid and blow up the xenomorphs, ending in a final battle with the Xenomorph Queen. Scar perishes in the fight, but Lex manages to send the Queen into the depth of the artic ocean, and is rewarded by the watching Eldar Predator with a spear for her troubles. A post-credit scene reveals that Scar had a chest-burster inside of him, birthing the Predalien!

Rewatching this movie, I'm surprised at how good it looks. The opening scene of the satellite in space, several shots of the ship (and spaceship), the frozen tundra, the set pieces like the Xenomorph Queen Prison, and the CGI!

The CGI! Of 2004! I was shocked that they looked so good for something that is 20 years old now, but they did really well for themselves.

But it was the practical effects that blew me away the most. The shifting Pyramid is absolutely iconic and the abandoned whaling station is suitably creepy. The face-huggers look amazing and the xenomorphs are just *chefs kiss*. It's so funny seeing these Xenomorph effects compared to that of Alien:Covenant, and seeing how much work bodysuit and puppetry can do to make a monster look so much more terrifying than a CGI creature.

I know a lot of people didn't like the Predator's bulky appearance in this movie, but honestly... I dig it? It makes sense that not all Predators are literally built the same, and that the ones who would choose to go hunting in the artic would be the bigger ones who could hold more body heat. And the movie does a really great fucking job of making these Predators look badass and distinct from each other, with Celtic having the coolest mask of the whole group.

And the way the movie is shot is really fantastic! There are a lot of wide and tracking shots where the movie lets the atmosphere do the work instead of badgering us with words, taking its time to build up tension and soak up the visuals. One of my favorites shots they did was slow roam through the Predator ship as the systems come to life and we get to see holograms come on-line, feeding information directly into their masks. Equally good was when the Xenomorph Queen is awakened to cackling electricity and ominous lighting, showing us how vast this chamber is and how huge this Queen is in comparison to the one Ripley faces.

The same goes for most of the actions scenes, with a decent amount of cool slow-mo shots for things like Face-huggles launching themselves, Predators leaping across chasms, and showing Scar's impressive athleticism when he leaps 10 meters into the air and stabs a spear through the Queens skull.

And I can always rewatch the first time Alien Meets Predator Fight. God, that score! The music is just so damn good!!! You really feel like you are watching two massive horrors from space finally finding themselves sharing a space together.

Honestly, the Predators using the Xenomorphs as some kind of fucked up exotic pet for hunting trials and training fits the lore PERFECTLY. It’s actually a literal fox hunt not just metaphorical (and of course, in typical Alien fashion, it all went to shit).

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007)

"Wait, Ridtom/VictoriaDallonFan, are you about to say something nice about AvP:R?!"

Well, after turning up the brightness and hanging blankets over my windows and then watching the movie underneath more blankets... yes!

For one thing, the Alien and Predator effects are spectacular! Some of the best work I've seen in the franchises! The fight scenes are creative and use really cool set-pieces like the sewer and power plant, where we get to see Wolf (the name of the Predator of this movie) absolutely kick ass and slaughter his way through hordes of Xenomorphs. Not that the xenos are left in the dust, as they get plenty of murders on screen and even outsmart Wolf on occasion.

I actually like the Predalien design and the idea that it’s more intelligent than the average Xeno, including holding personal grudges and understanding Predator behavior.

And the Predator tech is really cool too! We got laser grids, land mines, power fists, converting the plasma caster into a plasma pistol And I love the moment where Wolf kidnaps one of the human protags to use as live bait. Such a dick thing to do but so in-character.

Even the bits we get of Wolf mourning his fellow dead hunters was a neat addition.

And to be honest, I didn’t mind the idea of seeing an actual xenomorph infestation in real time, in a small town. I think that sort of setting would be really fun for a one-shot story.

And… that’s it. That’s all the good stuff.

What Went Wrong?

I compiled a list of sources where I got a lot of information on the AvP production: Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, Source 4

Note that a lot of these are 20 years old so I apologize for the outdated and honestly abhorrent word use that some articles and videos may use. And another apology for using the Xenopedia wiki, it was just a good shorthand for other information.

In short: Fox fucking sucks. They will absolutely self-sabotage themselves in order to make a (perceived) profit. Tom Rothman is the most well known (and he’s gone to Sony as of now), but Fox has had a looong history of being stingy and terrified of any risks for their films.

The sheer amount of drama involving Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection is an insane rollercoaster.

AvP removed pretty much any sense of horror and purposely had the design of the Predators to be more “human” and “heroic” (hence the weird human eyes and bulky physique), with a PG-13 rating for more audience numbers. While the human characters aren’t bad, they are not unique or even memorable (barring the fandom romantic tension between Lexi and the final Predator). Also, it was very weird that the Predators couldn’t kill a single Xenomorph, meanwhile the Colonial Marines couldn’t trip without blasting apart swarms of them. It felt like they really wanted to save money on the film in that regard.

AvP:R was even worse, with it being filmed with such a lack of lighting that people could not actually see any of the movie, and even modern advancements in color grading make it a strain. The human characters are awful, just absolutely boring and unremarkable beyond being veiled callbacks to characters from Alien, and we get a bunch of stupid Dawson’s Creek drama involving teenagers who look like they are 30 years old fighting over a girl who has no personality because she was written to just be “hot girl”.

If the story had focused entirely on the wife coming home from the war and dealing with the fact that her own daughter doesn’t feel close or comfortable with her after years of being gone, there could have been focus and themes and yadda yadda yadda.

Also, while this movie at least has horror aspects, did we REALLY need to see the Xenomorphs eating the fetuses and belly bursting out of still screaming mothers? Like, there is horror and then there is just being gross.

Final Thoughts

I often wonder if AvP took the wind out of the sails of Prometheus. Both play with the idea of humans worshiping aliens as gods, because Ancient Aliens is fucking everywhere, but it’s really hard to take Prometheus seriously when you remember AvP did basically the same setup (with arguably smarter characters).

And these movies have really soiled the idea of the AvP franchise barring the video games and comics. There’s apparently an AvP anime locked up in Disney Vaults and so far, both franchises have kept their respectful distances from each other.

However, with the recent successes of Alien: Romulus and Prey, there’s been a bit of a stir with some comments hinting at a potential AvP future.

Who knows. It’s been 17 years, perhaps 3rd time is the charm.

[storiesfromafan]

Wish I Were Her - Benny x Reader

A/N: as promised, the next part. I just finished rewriting it, after not liking the original 😂 hopefully this isn't too bad. Also, forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes, as well as the formate of the post. Posting on my phone while at Starbucks 😅

Previous: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

Tag List: @psychocitylights

Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand

Put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder

But how could I hate her? She’s such an angel

But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she...

- Heather by Conan Grey

Butterflies swarmed your stomach, fluttering in excitement and nerves. For tonight you were going to Grand and Division for the first time. Benny was back, and you’d made plans with Sandra and Fran to go to the Vandals bar to hang out. Both women said they’d meet you there, as you had worked till close at the grocery store.

You recall hearing, before seeing, the group of Vandals ride past the store. Part of you wanted to believe it was Benny's doing, checking in on you. But the more rational side knew that the most common route through the town to Grand and Division takes you past your work place.

After work, you had rushed home to have dinner with your parents, before getting ready to go out. You moved around your room in a flurry, putting a few bobby pins in your hair to hold some stray hairs in place, going for a half-up half down-do. Then you hit it with a quick spray of hair spray, just to lock it all in. Make up for the night consisted of light powder, small touch of blush, mascara and some dusty pink lipstick. It gave you a natural look. Because you just knew your parents will question you when you head out. To which you’d tell a small white lie on where you were going.

With one more final look over yourself in the full mirror, you looked over your jeans and sweater – keeping it casual – you nodded before grabbing your cardigan and handbag, slipping on your flats. Heading out of your room, walking along the hall and then bouncing down the staircase, you could hear the television as you came down the stairs. Both parents were sitting on the couch together, watching a show and softly laughing. You smiled at the sweet scene before you. Having always wanted something like what they had.

“I’m heading out for a while" you said, breaking the silence that was filled with soft volume from the TV.

“You’re going out?” Questioned your father as you walked past them.

You nodded. “Yes, I mentioned I was meeting up with Sandra and Fran at dinner".

Your father looked to his watch, using the TV light. “It’s a bit late, don’t you think?” His tone had a small firmness to it.

Your mother put her hand on his arm. “Oh dear, she’s young and having fun. Remember when you were young?” She shot you a wink, having your back.

Your father sighed. “Fine. But don’t be out too late. There are some unsavoury people out there" your mother shot him a look and he sighed. “Have fun kiddo".

You smiled moving to give them both a quick hug, and heading for the front door again. “I promise I will be fine, and home not too late!”

Stepping out on the porch you closed the front door and headed down the couple of stairs, down the path to the side walk. From there you walked the short distance for the bus stop, thankfully you only had to wait five minutes before it showed up. Once on you settled in for the short ride.

Looking out the window, you watched how everything passed by. Your excitement and nerves running through you, though the nerves were slowly over taking your excitement. Your mind full of questions. Such as what was the bar like? Would it be as rowdy as you’ve heard? Would Benny be happy to see you? Will he want to see you? Would he stick to your side? Would you get to talk more?

It wasn’t a long ride, finally pulling the cord for your stop. Bus pulling up to the curb before stopping. You smiled, thanking the driver before getting off the bus. You waited for it to pull away before looking left and then right, seeing the street clear you crossed over. From here it was only two blocks to the bar.

With every step it was like your heart was beating in time. Those butterflies restless, nerves hitting you full force. And with it all, that damn voice from the dark distant space of your mind arose. It had you doubting yourself. And doubting Benny.

What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if he finds you annoying? Or childish? That voice laughed, what if he’s already got himself a girl? Walking into a den of Vandals, only to be laughed at...

You felt those words weighing heavy on your mind and heart. But you wanted to believe that voice was wrong. You believed there was a chance for you with Benny. Or else he wouldn’t have said and done what he has, right? You pushed that voice back into its corner. And holding your head high you walked on. The sound of engines roaring and cheering had just caught your ears when you were almost to the corner from Grand and Division. You smiled, shakily releasing a breath and the last of your nerves.

Then you turned the corner. Across the road diagonally you saw the neon lights of the bar, out the front were rows of bikes, which had a few men sitting upon them. One of them was the back of an all too familiar body; Benny. He was just sitting on his bike talking to another man, who had light hair with a white bandanna around his head, and earing in his ear, dressed in a denim vest, black t-shirt and dirty jeans. In fact he looked to be dirty in general, maybe a mechanic or something.

Smiling when the pair laughed, you finally found the courage to take a few steps forward, eyes locked on Benny. You noted the bar door opening and out came a group of people. Among them a woman you’d seen around town, Kathy you think her name was. Her brown hair was styled in a casual beehive do, with hair cascading down her back. And she was dressed similar to you, only her sweater was sleeveless. As soon as her eyes landed on Benny and his friend, and bright smile crossed her lips as she moved to them. Kathy greeted the man with the bandanna before greeting Benny.

You stopped in your tracks when she wrapped her arms around Benny, who in turn wrapped an arm around her. They stood there in a hug, exchanging words and a laugh. Your heart dropped into your stomach at the sight. They looked too comfortable. Which told you they were close. Probably very close.

When they pulled a part, with a laugh, the woman held Benny's chin. She continued to speak to him. Her other hand holding onto his vest, drawing him close. It was all too intimate to be just meeting or acquaintances. Feeling like you were the intruder, you took a step back, then another before finally turning from the scene all together. You weren’t going to be the fool, walking up and interrupting them.

With every step from them you felt a hit to your heart and confidence. You had thought just maybe you had finally got a chance at something you had wished for. But of course he already had someone. Kathy was beautiful, confident and fit in perfectly. Unlike you, who was plain Jane, shy and stuck out like a sore thumb. Benny needed a woman, not a child. Kathy screamed woman, while you laughed child.

Looks like Benny has a girl, that voice in the back of your head taunted. How silly you are to think you stood a chance...you were just something to pass the time or a joke...

Your face warmed from stupidity and embarrassment, vision blurring with hot tears rising. And soon one fell, then another, until you quietly cried. Just adding to your childish, you’d thought. Knowing it would take some time for the tears to slow and subside, you forego taking the bus home. Instead opting to walk home. Taking the time to let the reality of your stupidity set in, learning from your naive notions. It was a bitter pill to swallow. You hoped by the time you got home your parents were in bed, and you could just slip in without being seen.

You should never get your hopes up~ That voice said in a sing-song tone. And for once, you agreed with it.

[we-were-beautiful]

Marry me

Xaden x Sorrengail!oc

WC: 816

Warnings: None just Fluff

A/N: Well I decided to take part in a small writing Challenge. I had fun writing this little blurb and while it has the potential to turn into its own series; I am going to show self restraint by not doing that. The prompt was "I can never say 'no to you" From Jana over at @creativepromptsforwriting

Also fair warning; I didn't send this to any of my betas. So we die like men at this point

Thank you to @skyfallscotland and @justallihere for putting together the Fourth Wing Birthday Bash

Last but not least tumbr is being dumb and won’t let me post from my laptop so apologies about the formatting

“We should get married” I comment wrapping my arms around my beloved’s shoulders, fingers gently tracing along the scars at the top of his shoulders. I look up into his gold flecked onyx eyes and smile widely at him. Was the flight field after lessons the best place to have this conversation, probably not, but I couldn’t help myself. It had been an interesting lesson with a storm about to roll in; the thunder off in the distance rolling. But now with the rest of the third years and Professor Kaori heading back to the citadel, I figured given Xaden a small heart attack would be fun.

Where I would expect to see shock and hesitance on his face I only see a fond smile as he wraps his arms around my waist to pull me into his chest.

“When do you want to get married and how do you want to tell your mother and sisters?” I hadn’t thought of that.

It would be pretty easy to tell Violet. If I could get her away from her squad it would be as simple as that. Mira I could just write a letter too. Shed be pissed at first; she had specifically told me to stay away from Xaden. That didn’t work out since we ended up in the same squad with mated dragons; but Mira could get over it. She’d be happy for me eventually.

My mother; however, I completely forgot about. General Sorrengail hadn’t been a fan of the relationship and she had made it known to me once the word had made it to her office. That had been the only time I had formally gotten called to her office to make her displeasure known; but its been three years. Xaden and I work well together and we have been in love with each other for awhile now. Not to mention we are kinda stuck with each other until one of us dies so at one point or another she’s just going to have to learn to live with it.

I feel Tairn’s amusement in the back of my mind. The old curmudgeon had been riding my ass this last week about acting like a love sick puppy around Xaden. Like his grumpy ass isn’t the exact same way around Sgaeyl.

‘I heard that’ the rumbling voice flows through my head.

‘You were supposed to.’ I felt Tairn’s snout push at my back sending me further into Xaden’ s grasp ‘Tairn!!!’ I can hear Sgaeyl chuckle in my head.

‘I think I shall go get some sheep’ I’m not sure if it is the mighty beat of our dragons wings or thunder, but as the two dragons fly off the heavens open up above us and cold rain begins to pour down. Xaden lets out a hearty laugh squeezing me tightly.

“When do you want to get married love.” He leans down to whisper in my ear repeating his earlier question.

“Want to grab Garrick, Bodhi, Liam and Vi and sneak down to Chantara.” I would do it; grab our family and secretly get married today if he agreed.

“How about we wait until graduation. We can get our family together, before we fly to our post, and have a small ceremony.” He pushes a soaked strand of hair away from my face. “Then it gives you time to let Mira know, so she can try and get leave” leave it to this perfect man to remember that I wanted Mira there when I got married. While Brennen had Mom and Violet had Dad it had been Mira and I against the world. I still had all of the letters we had wrote to each other while she was in the quadrant and then when I started second year. She had to be there on our special day; she would kill me if I ran off today and got married.

“Ok Graduation it is then.” He looks even more breathtaking in the rain as water droplets roll down his skin.

“Alright then lets go Mrs.Riorson.” He lets go of me and moves towards the hidden tunnel entrance.

“Wait.” I call grabbing his hand to stop him. “Kiss me?” Is it cheesy and straight out of the romance books that I brought into the quadrant, yes. But I had always wanted to be kissed in the rain.

“Have I ever been able to say ‘no’ to you.” He gently cradles my face in his hands tilting my face upwards; his lips crash into mine is a passionate kiss. It starts out innocent enough but my hands quickly find their way to his hair and one of his finds its way to my ass. When we break apart we are gasping for breath; Xaden rest his forehead against mine and hazel eyes meet onyx “Marry me?”

“Yes.” I laugh and pull him into another kiss.

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM x Karatez Interrogation Questions

Disclaimer: Weather-cluddy (and Maristelina) already translated these, I am not so filled with hubris that I think my work is better than theirs This is just me doing a favour for a friend who was bothered by the formatting/image quality of the original post That said, repackaging other people's work wholesale is a bit weird so these are my translations (yes I am procrastinating the hallucenation stuff but I promise I've started working on it)

Do you have any memories of karaoke?

Haruka: I feel like I went when I was really little I remember hearing my parents singing I want to try going with everyone

Yuno: I use them a bunch! I do things like going singing with my friends, as well as for some other stuff* Could you set it up for us in the prison? [Karaoke rooms are cheap, private and soundproof meaning a lot of people use them for 'hook ups', I'm pretty sure you're not meant to use them for that though, I wonder if the sponsor was aware Yuno was one of those people]

Fuuta: I only went around the time I started uni and was doing new student stuff But I stopped going not long after

Muu: I've been a couple times But most of the time I just end up chatting with my friends

Shidou: My family used to go Although I'd usually just be there listening to them

Mahiru: I feel like it'd be a good first date, wouldn't it? Then I could learn what my partner's favourite songs are... What kind of music do you listen to?

Kazui: I'd go there for stuff like drinking afterparties, y'know Drunk old men* really like singing, don't they? Recently the food's also really good, hasn't it? [*Kazui's favourite word ojisan lol]

Amane: I don't You can't have memories of something if you never went

Mikoto: Back in uni it was a godsend, I'd go almost every week I'm pretty confident in my ability to liven up karaoke Because I mastered the songs that everyone enjoys [Mikoto uses 'boku']

Kotoko: I've used them a lot before They're the most affordable kind of private room So they're really convenient when you don't want your conversations overheard

Images/Transcript below the cut

カラオケの思い出はあるか？

ハルカ：ちいさいときに行ったきがします おやがうたっているの聞いてたとおもいます みんなと行ってみたいです [Image source: moibakadesu]

ユノ：よく使うよ 友達と歌いに行くのもあるし、他にも色々 監獄の中にも作ってくれるの？ [Image source: K-Books]

フウタ：大学入ったばっかりときは新歓とかで行ったけど そのうち行かなくなったな [Image source: K-Books]

ムウ：たまに行くよ ムウ場合はほとんど友達とおしゃべりしてる [Image source: K-Books]

シドウ：家族で行きましたよ 俺は大抵聴いているだけですけど [Image source: K-Books]

マヒル：付きあいたてのデートって感じがしていいよね 相手のお好みの曲覚えたりして… あなたはどんな曲聴くの? [Image source*: Weather-Cluddy, but this image also appears on an earlier DCinside post with a different crop, so I think it's taken from a now deleted source and I couldn't find any other images]

カズイ：飲みの二次会とかで行くねぇ 酔っ払ったおじさんは歌いたがるもんなのさ 最近はご飯もちゃんと旨いからいいよね [Image source: melsie]

アマネ：ありませんね 行ったこともので思い出などあるはずもありません [Image source*: Similar situation to Mahiru where the earliest source is Weather-Cluddy/the DCinside post but I can't find any other images/their sources]

ミコト：そりゃもう大学時代なんてほぼ毎週お世話になってたよ カラオケの盛り上げ方なら相当自信あるよ、僕 老若男女の喜ぶ曲マスターしてるからね [Image source: K-Books]

コトコ：よく使ってたよ 一番手頃な個室だから 聞かれたくない話をするには重宝する [Image source: K-Books]

*if anyone could provide better quality/sourced images I would appreciate it

[rallamajoop]

Queer lit of the 1800s: Two gay Victorian vampire stories you've probably never heard of

So, I have this post in the works tackling that all-important question: just why are there so many gay vampire stories? But in writing it, what was supposed to be a brief tangent about a couple of little-known m/m vampire stories from all the way back in the late 1800s era… started expanding into something not-so-brief, as such tangents are prone to do.

But what the hell, the internet tells me it's queer history month: clearly the only solution is to give those stories their own post, where my tangent can spin out as far as it likes!

Now, if you know anything about Victorian vampire literature or the lesbian vampire genre, you’ve probably already heard about Carmilla, by Sheridan le Fanu (1872), the world’s very first (known) lesbian vampire story. To this day, it's easily the second best-known and widely adapted tale in all the Victorian vampire canon (after Dracula, obviously) – and it probably deserves to be too.

But this is not a post about Carmilla, because Carmilla is not the only gay-vampire-story written way back in the Victorian era. It's not even the least subtle gay-vampire-tale.

There are (at least) two others, both featuring male/male vampire/human pairings. And whether or not they ‘deserve’ to be remembered in the same breath as Carmilla, they’re both fascinating works in their own rights: Manor, by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1884) – one of the world’s first gay activists – and A True Story of a Vampire, by Count Eric Stenbock (1894).

You can read both online. A True Story of a Vampire is long out of copyright and can be found on Gutenberg (Carmilla is too, if you're interested), and many other places. Manor has been translated into English only much more recently, but you can still get hold of it in pdf form, or buy it in ebook format. But if what you really want are some summaries, and/or whole lot of extra context and analysis to go with the stories themselves, I've got you covered below.

Manor (1884), Sailor Stories, and Karl Heinrich Ulrichs

We’ll start with Manor, since it was published ten years before our other example, and because I’m not quite cruel enough to leave you going "wait, did you really just tell me there was a legit gay activist writing vampire slashfic in his free time way back in the 1880s?" while I ramble on about the other story first. We'll start with the author himself, because his own story is at least as interesting as any fiction he ever published.

Born in Germany in 1825, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs knew from a young age that he was attracted to men. He trained in law, but wisely resigned before he could be fired in 1854 when his proclivities came to the attention of his superiors. Most in his position would've redoubled their efforts to hide; Ulrichs spent the next several years joining societies dedicated to science and literature and developing his own theories about non-hetero orientations, before officially coming out to his family in 1862.

He was just getting started. By 1867, he was ready to come out to the whole world.

Ulrichs is far from the first gay man to recognise his attraction without shame and find society in like-minded individuals ‒ but he may well be the very first to come out voluntarily and publicly, and advocate for the decriminalisation of homosexuality. And when I say "publicly" what I mean of course is, "in a formal address to the Congress of German Jurists." He was shouted down, but it was still a staggering act of bravery for a man of his time. It would still be a staggering act of bravery in many parts of the world today.

Undaunted by his reception, Ulrichs would also publish a dozen booklets advocating for rights for his community between 1864 and 1879, framing their sexuality as natural, inborn and wholly benign. In 1880, after multiple arrests for his political advocacy, he left Germany for self-imposed exile in Italy, where he would remain until his death in 1895. But it's during this period that he published some poetry, as well as Sailor Stories, a collection of four short stories inspired primarily by Norse mythology, including Manor (which we’ll get to, don’t worry).

Though Ulrichs saw little legal success in his lifetime, through modern eyes, his greatest failure might be only that he was so far ahead of his time. When he began writing and advocating, the word 'homosexuality' didn't even exist yet ‒ he himself used the term 'Urnings' for gay men, eventually coining terms for variations like 'Mannling' and 'Weibling' (gay male equivalent of 'butch' and 'femme') as well. He also came to recognise bisexuality, lesbian attraction, and even intersex conditions, theorising that all resulted from some combination of male and female characteristics developing in the same individual, as the available knowledge on embryonic development suggested might be possible. For a guy with only Victorian era science to work from, that's still remarkably close to the modern consensus today.

Nor did Ulrichs' work die with him. His writings would go on to inspire and be republished by gay rights movements that followed him ‒ including the work and advocacy of Magnus Hirschfeld, who created what may be the world's first trans-affirming clinic. Even in his own time, responses from his own readers show much his work meant to them, reassured at last that they weren't alone.

So how does a German activist from the 1880s find himself publishing gay vampire fiction based on Norse mythology while living in exile in Italy? I only wish I knew. My sources suggest his main goal with Sailor Stories was to publish something that would sell. Unsurprisingly, given the subject matter it seems to have sold very little. Manor is the third of four short tales, and by far the gayest of them all. It's also (IMHO) by far the best, and the most interesting.

Set in a Norwegian fishing village, Manor tells the story of the romance between a 15-year-old boy called Har, and the titular Manor, a sailor 4 years his senior, who rescues Har from the wreck which killed his father. In the days that follow, the pair become close, and Manor takes to swimming across the bay on summer evenings to visit Har at his home. And so they meet whenever they can, until tragedy strikes again, and Manor is killed in a shipwreck near the coast, leaving Har inconsolable with grief.

But this being a vampire story, in the nights after Manor’s death, something is seen swimming across the bay to Har’s home, just as Manor used to do. Har is visited night after night by the spectre of his beloved, who lies beside him in bed, strokes his cheek with cold hands, and kisses him with icy lips, draining his blood from his heart, "like an infant at its mother’s breast." Har himself awaits each night with mixed joy and fear, longing to see Manor again, even in such a form.

As Har weakens, the villagers attempt to trap Manor in his grave by hammering a stake through his body, but he continues to visit Har nonetheless, now sporting a gaping wound in his chest. The villagers return with a new stake, widened at the base like a giant nail, and finally, Manor is restrained in his grave. But it’s too late for Har: weakened and heartsick, he dies, begging only that he should be buried beside his beloved at last. Neither rise again. 

Though I can’t speak to how it reads in the original German, in translation, Manor is relayed in largely workmanlike prose. Its tale is short, simple, and sad – but so much about it fascinates me all the same.

(Draugen, Theodor Kittelsen, 1891)

There’s the incorporation of elements you might better recognise from Norse draugr folklore – revenants more typically associated with deaths at sea, or charged with guarding their own graves ‒ but still far more closely related to the vampires of Slavic mythology than most people probably realise. Manor is also one of painfully few stories which clearly recognises what is surely the original purpose of hammering a stake through a vampire’s body: not to kill it, but to hold the creature down and prevent it from leaving its grave. As a hopeless vampire-nerd (I've presented panels at conventions about this stuff, it's dangerous to get me started), I can’t tell you how much I love those aspects of this story.

But above all, Ulrichs’ tale captures what might be one of the oldest and most traditional versions of the folkloric vampire: the spectre of a lost loved one, and the potent mixture of fear and twisted longing thus inspired, that the weight of their loss might drag you down into death to join them. Many ‘real’ tales of vampirism have been inspired by outbreaks of wasting diseases like consumption, working their way through a family, one member at a time. But in Har’s case, it is clearly grief as much as Manor’s physical visits that claims him. He loves Manor so much that he welcomes his lover back, even as a revenant. In his own way, Har too is cursed by Manor’s death to wander the world like the walking dead, until finally reunited with his lover once more.

Nowadays, tragic love stories like this tend to get an eye roll from a lot of the queer community. The old ‘bury your gays’ trope has been done to death, and we’re largely sick of being told that noble suffering is the best we can hope for. But it’s notable nonetheless that Manor’s sexuality has no bearing on his death, and little about the story would change were Har female. It's far from clear if the rest of the village even recognises Har and Manor's love for what it is, let alone whether they'd disapprove ‒ after all, vampires will often go after friends and acquaintances when lovers and family members are exhausted. As such, it’s hard to read the village’s attempts to keep Manor in his grave as a simple matter of prejudice. They're also genuinely trying to save Har's life.

And yet, the way Har keeps the undead Manor’s visits a secret, even begging for the stake to be removed so they can resume, echoes the real experiences of so many gay and lesbian couples far too clearly to be accidental. And however disturbing to a contemporary audience, Har’s willingness to follow his lover to the grave leaves little doubt of the depths of his feelings. To an audience in the 1800s, even the most cliched example of bury-your-gays would be revolutionary.

Did I mention that this story fascinates me? There are layers to this thing.

For completeness, I’ve also read the rest of Sailor Stories (and you can too at the same link). Only one of the other three tales contains any queer romance: the first, Sulitelma, where a boy called Erich falls for a handsome sailor called Harald he meets aboard a spectral storm ship. But there's no happy ending: his sister falls for the same handsome sailor, and shoves Erich overboard to his death to eliminate her competition.

Atlantis, the second story in the collection, is a direct sequel to Sulitelma, but it's even more bizarre. Erich is barely mentioned, and instead we find ourselves reading a tale which I can only summarise as like something I might have found on fanfiction.net back in the early aughts, written by some 14yo trying to straightwash the original material. Here, Harald and some of his fellows go on shore leave to the land of the phoenix, populated by Greek nymphs and Cupid, and mildly comedic hijinx ensue. It is fascinatingly bizarre, but not exactly satisfying as a read (or a sequel).

The final story, The Monk of Sumboe, tells of how two close friends destroy their relationship and themselves with their fixation on the tale of an alluring siren. There's a solid concept in there somewhere, but it's far too short and abrupt to do much with it, and all the characters remain strictly heterosexual. But if there's one thematic detail that ties it to the rest of the collection (beside the many Norse elements), it's that hopeless longing for something others would warn you away from ‒ whether that be a phantom ship, a visit from a vampire lover, or an elusive siren. None of these tales end well for their protagonists, but we're drawn to sympathise with them nonetheless.

I cannot guess what reception Karl Ulrichs expected in publishing this book. Sailor Stories is neither a work that could expect good reception from mainstream audiences or a defiantly-radical queer masterpiece. What did people make of it in its own time? Was it read and cherished by at least a few boys or men like Har and Manor? I’d hope so, but I’ll probably never know.

If you'd like to read more about Karl Ulrichs, I can recommend (among my sources) this New York Times article for a quick overview of his work, or the various work of Michael Lombardi-Nash and Hubert Kennedy (link 2). You can also read the first chapter of his published correspondence online for free.

A True Story of a Vampire (1894), and Count Eric Stenbock

Our second Victorian vampire tale was first published in English, though it was written by a Swedish Count. Like Carmilla in its own day (and quite unlike Karl Ulrichs), both story and author seem to have flown largely under the radar until many years after publication, the queer subtext little noted or commented upon (if at all).

If nothing else though, A True Story of a Vampire aptly demonstrates that at least someone of that era spotted what Carmilla was really about – because he wrote his own version, only about men. Stenbock’s tale is effectively a much shorter, gender-swapped version of Carmilla – but with a larger age gap between vampire and victim lending the story uncomfortable pederastic overtones.

"Vampire stories are generally located in Styria; mine is also," it begins – though I couldn’t name you any vampire story from the era besides Carmilla set there. The narrator, the surviving sister of the vampire’s victim, is called ‘Carmela’, if you needed further proof.

Much like in Carmilla herself, the vampire, Count Vardalek (a Slavic term for vampire) arrives at their house after being forced to seek local hospitality when some convenient ‘accident’ interrupts his travels. There, he bewitches and slowly drains the life from her brother, Gabriel – a boy described in terms variously angelic and fey, a wild thing who befriends wild animals and would rather climb a tree to a window than take the stairs to his own room, but who cleans up beautifully for church – a sublime, cinnamon roll of a creature, far too good for this sinful earth, too pure. Gabriel is a true male equivalent of the likes of Dracula’s Lucy, feminised further still by his youth and innocence. Had a vampire not got him, one can only imagine he’d have eventually have been spirited away by the fairies.

Gabriel and the mysterious Count are drawn to one another immediately. Even as Gabriel wastes slowly away, he greets Vardalek eagerly each time he returns by throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips. Count Vardalek himself seems to be a vampire of the psychic variety, gaining in health and vitality while Gabriel wilts, merely after spending time in one another’s presence. Vardalek himself seems to genuinely regret Gabriel’s inevitable death, but unlike in Carmilla, there’s no rescue at our conclusion. Gabriel dies, and we’re given no reason to assume he’ll rise again.

To the modern reader, the true horror of this tale lies not with the vampires or even the homoeroticism, but with those uncomfortably pederastic implications. Gabriel can’t be more than twelve years old, his youth and innocence emphasised in his every description. Pains are taken to suggest that Gabriel’s own attraction to Vardalek is as much responsible for his fate as the vampire himself. Gabriel’s father is similarly bewitched by this charming stranger, and never recognises the danger, or the reason for his son’s tragic death. Even the narrator, his loving sister, cannot truly hate Vardalek for taking her brother from her – even when her father dies of grief soon after. Gabriel’s fate seems sealed from the moment the Count enters their home.

But knowing how often real child molesters get away with it, their actions excused or downplayed by their family, their victims accused of ‘seducing’ their abusers and made complicit in their own misery… I can only say that, for my money, A True Story of a Vampire is a very effective horror story in ways the author probably never intended, once you start to question the reliability of its narrator.

It won’t surprise you to learn that the author, Count Eric Stanislaus Stenbock, was a (very) gay man, deeply involved with the gothic and decadent artistic movements of his day. Born to a Swedish Count and an English heiress, Stenbock seems to be remembered less for his writing than for his character. In The Oxford Book of Modern Verse, 1892-1935, W.B. Yeats describes him as a "scholar, connoisseur, drunkard, poet, pervert, most charming of men" ‒ naming Stenbock as an exemplar of the poetic zeitgeist of the age. Notably however, none of Stenbock’s actual poetry is featured in the volume.

Stories about Stenbock are so bizarre that it’s hard to know how much should be believed. Eric Stenbock supposedly travelled with a multitude of exotic pets and a life-sized doll he referred to as his 'son', dabbled in religions ranging from Roman Catholicism to Buddhism, and decorated his dwelling with peacock feathers, oriental shawls, a bronze statue of Eros and a hanging pentagram. One acquaintance once compared him to a 'magnified child': "very fair hair beautifully curled, and a blond, round, blue-eyed face," who paused at the door and "took a little phial out of his pocket, from which he anointed his fingers, before passing them through his locks." But by his thirties, he was already dying of liver disease after years of alcoholism. He passed away at only 35.

Stenbock’s surviving artistic legacy consists of three volumes of poetry and one of prose, with some of those poems including explicit references to Ganymede or male lovers. So how did he escape the same controversy that dogged similar works by other queer creatives of his day, like Oscar Wilde or Walt Whitman – let alone Karl Ulrichs? Well, simple: his work never attracted enough attention to generate real controversy. Stenbock may have been just as much a character as figures like Wilde, but he hadn't nearly the same talent or success.

One last minor biographic detail that may be worthy of note (discovered courtesy of some very poor-quality scans of his one proper biography) is that the youthful Gabriel of A True Story of a Vampire may owe his name to a real Gabriele ‒ a female cousin ten years Stenbock’s junior, whom he would've spent time with in his teens, and seems to have been especially fond of. Whatever the true significance of that name, he'd use it more than once in his fiction: another short story, The Other Side: A Breton Legend, also stars an angelic little boy called Gabriel, with a similar dangerous attraction to the strange. It features some lovely mood and imagery as it sets the scene, but (perhaps as a result of the lack of a suitable model story like Carmilla) it is, in my opinion, a much weaker story overall.

But again, the most disturbing aspect of Stenbock's biography are the hints about his own relationships with much younger men. His second book of poetry, Myrtle, Rue and Cypress, is dedicated to three people: Simeon Solomon (a gay painter of the pre-Raphaelite movement, whom he met at Oxford), Arvid Stenbock, Eric's cousin, and to "the memory of Charles Fowler" ‒ the son of a Clergyman, who died of consumption at only 16.

This enigmatic dedication is all we know about Stenbock's relationship with Fowler. We don't even know how the they met (Fowler seems to have had a relative at Oxford at the same time as Stenbock, but even this is speculation). But that dedication, in a book which will go on to feature poems about the beauty of Ganymede, or explicitly addressed 'To A Boy' (Tis ever a delight, dear, To gaze upon thy face, To love the life within thee, Fair fashioned, full of grace) makes it hard to read Stenbock's feelings as remotely platonic.

It doesn’t help that the same volume includes a poem about an actual vampire, published ten years before A True Story of a Vampire would ever be penned, but with very comparable subject matter:

With slow soft sensual sips Draw the life from the tender spray, And brush from thy soft lithe lips The bloom of thy boyhood away

It's worth keeping in mind that Stenbock himself would've been only 21 at the time of Fowler's death, and that we don't know whether he ever acted on his attraction (whatever form it may have taken). He may well, as I've seen suggested, have kept his admiration private, idealising the image of the beautiful, dying boy in his final days, in that classic Victorian-gothic way. But it doesn't help that Stenbock's cousin Arvid, from that other dedication in the same book, was 8 years his junior, and that their family apparently disapproved of their relationship as "unnaturally close." Or that another famous Stenbock-associate was Norman O'Neil, a composer whom he met on a London omnibus in 1891, when O'Neil too was only 16. Stenbock was apparently taken by his intelligence and beauty, and would go on to leave him a considerable sum of money in his will. By 1891, Stenbock would've been 31, but his fixations hadn't aged with him.

So how are we to take all this? This was an age where a marriage between a 16-year-old girl and a suitor of Stenbock's age would scarcely have raised eyebrows. Uncomfortable as it may sound today, for many queer youths of the era, a romance with someone older and experienced enough to play mentor may genuinely have represented the safest real option available. There are layers of complicated subtext, meanwhile, in the idea of any gay man of the Victorian era casting himself as a vampiric monster, doomed to ruin the object of their attraction with their very touch. There may be layers more in Stenbock framing his tale as "A true story" before telling us of the misery a foreign Count brought to an innocent family, with his helpless fixation on their youngest child.

It's worth noting also that even in Manor, by Legit Gay Activist Karl Ulrichs, our love story is between a boy of 15 and a man of 19 ‒ an age gap of only 4 years, but large enough at 15 to raise some serious eyebrows. His first story too, Sulitelma, involves attraction between a man and a boy (exact ages unknown). Though Ulrichs explicitly viewed relationships with prepubescent children as reprehensible, he seems to have had no problem with relationships between young teens and much older adults ‒ even printing a story sent in by a reader (details in this article), joyfully recounting how he (the reader) was initiated into the world of male/male love as a 14-year-old by his brother's riding master. Ulrichs saw no reason to disapprove.

To confuse things for anyone looking this up today, google Ulrichs, and you'll find a number of online articles claiming that his own first experience involved being sexually assaulted by a riding instructor when he was only 14. This is wrong on multiple fronts: not only is the story related by Ulrichs as a positive experience, it wasn't even Ulrichs it happened to. No, shit like this would not be okay if it happened today (and frequently wasn't then), but we don't help ourselves by distorting the stories told by our queer forebears to fit modern expectations.

But none of that surrounding context makes the youth of the day any less vulnerable to predation, or Stenbock's fixation on youthful beauty less creepy. Today, no evidence remains to help us guess whether idealising the beauty and innocence of youth was the greatest of Stenbock's actual crimes, or the least of them. Anything is possible.

In brief: welcome to the joy of trying to reconcile the complicated place of pederasty in queer history! I'm afraid you can look forward to seeing a lot of it from here on back.

A True Story of a Vampire is not a bad work of fiction by any means. There are some lovely descriptions and entertaining turns of phrase, and the horror is certainly effective. It may even be considerably more readable than Carmilla to many, simply for being so much shorter. But how you feel about it is really going to be up to you.

One last digression about Carmilla and Christabel

There’s one additional work that I’ve once or twice seen listed as an even earlier queer vampire tale: Samuel Coleridge’s unfinished poem Christabel (1800) – the only problem being there’s no vampire in the story (and how queer it is may be questionable too).

Like Carmilla, Christabel tells of a Baron’s daughter (the titular Christabel) who comes upon a mysterious stranger in apparent distress (Geraldine) and invites her into her home. We never learn what kind of being Geraldine truly is (three further parts were planned in addition to the two that were completed), but when she undresses, Christabel spies something that horrifies her, remembering it later with the words "Again she saw that bosom old / Again she felt that bosom cold." But under Geraldine’s spell, Christabel’s recollection of this incident comes and goes, and Geraldine has soon bewitched her father too.

All ‘evidence’ that Geraldine was intended to be a vampire rests on such details as Geraldine having to be carried past an iron gate into the house, much as vampires have to be invited in – but that particular vampire trope wasn’t actually codified until a solid century later (like most vampire-tropes, we have Stoker's Dracula to blame). The idea that Geraldine has the cold, shrivelled body of the undead and revives herself on Christabel’s blood is a perfectly valid reading, but the more obvious interpretation would be that she’s some manner of shapeshifting fairy creature, weakened by the iron of the gateway, not the entrance to Christabel’s home. The aristocratic literary vampire had existed for over 40 years and appeared in numerous works of fiction by Carmilla's day; but Christabel predates the origins of the genre a solid two decades. For Coleridge to have come up with the idea independently seems vanishingly unlikely.

I mention Christabel here partly for completeness, but mostly to bring us back around to the greater family of Carmilla, which is still legitimately the first known queer vampire story. Though far better known than any other story discussed here today, how it came about is perhaps the most mysterious.

Sheridan le Fanu was a prolific writer, but I don’t know of any other story he’s penned with subtext like Carmilla's (and I’m not quite invested enough to read all of the rest to check, though someone totally should so I don't have to). Le Fanu was married, and had children, and that's all I can discover about his personal life. Was he some shade of queer himself? Did he have connections to anyone who was? Did he even realise what he was writing with Carmilla? Nothing I’ve read about him provides any answers. Nor can I tell you how many readers spotted the subtext it the story was first published. In its own time, it caused no great scandal, nor even seems to have garnered much attention (by contrast, Byron & Polidori's The Vampyre caused an uproar when it was published in 1819, mostly thanks to Byron's established fame and debates over its true authorship). It took until well into the 20th Century for it to obtain the reputation it has today.

But I’m sure it’s no coincidence that it was Carmilla that spoke to Stenbock enough that he chose to retell it. And while A True Story of a Vampire is still the only other vampire story of the era set in Styria, there was almost another one: Dracula, at least Stoker’s early plans for the novel. Styria also remains part of the unused prequel chapter later published as Dracula’s Guest. The setting isn’t the only detail Stoker nearly-borrowed from Carmilla either, my favourite example being the weird schedule by which both she and Dracula seem to have to be in bed in their coffins at dawn each day, both apparently helpless and immobile in sleep, though both are also repeatedly seen up and about later in the day. Neither tale offers any real explanation.

Have I mentioned lately that Stoker, too, was almost certainly some shade of gay?

Now, the fact that two different queer writers both found Carmilla so very inspiring – and would even both publish their own works of vampire literature within five years of one another – isn’t much to go on, in trying to establish what a story like Carmilla might’ve meant to England’s queer population some twenty years after it was written. Maybe Carmilla was being eagerly passed around London’s own Uranian gothic societies at the time. Or maybe two different men happened upon it by chance in wholly different circumstances, and took very different things from reading it. Maybe Stoker didn’t even notice the queer subtext himself. But I can’t help but wonder if just maybe, there's something more than coincidence at work here.

Carmilla the vampire is an explicitly villainous character, her victim confused and unwilling. But she remains one of the most complex and sympathetic vampires of her era. And perhaps, to a community who had never seen Ulrichs’ writing published in their own language, and might never see themselves represented in fiction except as monsters buried in layers of protective subtext, that still meant something to readers like Stenbock, and Stocker, and who knows how many others.

In short, maybe old, gay vampire stories like these really are worth remembering. I'll leave that one up to you.

[writingquestionsanswered]

So, I often find myself writing and it simply turns out… bland. I do try to remember to show my readers rather than tell, but I feel like I cannot consistently do that, and it feels forced. I try to focus on environment, internal feelings and such, but I wonder if I have an incorrect ratio of sorts… essentially, my question is for the average paragraph (let’s say not including any dialogue), how much should be descriptive of the environment and how much should be the characters thoughts and actions?

Writing Feels Forced or Bland

There isn't a formula or average for how much of the exposition in an average paragraph should be character thought and action vs description of the environment.

Your story overall should have a relative balance of exposition (explaining things--including character thought, backstory, and environment), action (characters doing things), and dialogue (characters talking.) It's not going to be an exact balance (hence the term "relative balance"), but you wouldn't want 5% dialogue, 30% action, and 65% exposition, for example, because that's not a relative balance. But, you could have 25% dialogue, 35% exposition, and 40% action if that's what works for your story.

This "balance" can't be applied to a single sentence, paragraph, scene, or chapter, because it's always going to be different. You'll have some sentences, paragraphs, scenes, or chapters that have a bigger balance of one or the others depending on the needs of the story. For example, the climax will probably be heavier on action and exposition than dialogue. Unless your climax is a huge verbal fight, in which case it will probably be heavier on dialogue and exposition than action.

When your writing feels bland or forced despite trying to include a relative balance of exposition, dialogue, and action... trying not to rely on telling rather than showing, and using description to flesh out the environment, the problem isn't with any of that, probably, but either with your expectations or with the story itself.

This is why it's so, so important for writers to also be readers... and yes, that does include listening to audiobooks and reading fan-fiction and short stories. Consuming story in any format is also important... because it's through reading and consuming stories that you can begin to understand how they work. You can read writing advice that says "show, don't tell" or "use description to flesh out the environment," but you can't really know what that means until you see it in action in a variety of different stories. Your expectations will be off because you haven't seen how it actually works.

And if you're an avid reader and know how stories work, and understand the overall relative balance between exposition, action, and dialogue needed to tell a story, and you still feel like it feels bland or forced, it could be an issue with the story itself. Relative balance between exposition, action, and dialogue isn't going to help if you don't have a plot that is compelling and cohesive... and if you don't have well fleshed out characters with a logical motivation, goal, and internal conflict to help drive the story forward.

You might take a spin through my Plot & Story Structure master list of posts, as well as my Character Development master list of posts for more help with individual issues on those points.

I hope this helps!!! ♥

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[imbecominggayer]

Writing Exposition And Info Into The Story

This specific post is for @loverboyxbutch who has asked for multiple things with multiple caveats so we have to absolutely get this perfectly answered!

Question One: Exposition And Letters

The quote: I was wondering if you had any advice about telling part of a narrative through things like letters or diary entries?

There are two different ways to incorperate diary entries and letters. It all depends on your formatting

You could have the person's letter be an actual quoted segment of the letter so the reader could physically read it or you could have the basic information be relayed to the reader by the characters.

Neither way isn't better than the other but they do have different pros and cons.

The benefits of quotes is the fact that it allows the reader to see the original writer's personality to come through in their writing. The con is the fact that this quoting can quickly get out of hand and the information is kinda under the emotion.

The benefits of characters relaying the information is the fact that this cuts down on flowing emotion. All the information is laid out there! The negative is the fact that this information lacks emotion and personality.

Objectively speaking, expositio is best gathered through story since it's more natural without having to do an infodump!

Question Two: Balancing Emotion With Info

Quote: "I’m not too sure how to balance the realism and emotion with the information that needs to be displayed."

Remember, realism in stories is less "factually accurate" and more "consistent within itself".

In this case, realism in information is "would this character say this" and "how would this character say this"?

Audiences hate "infodumps" because it feels like the character's personality has turned off and now a college professor is speaking.

So it's definitely important you maintain a character's unique voice and personality when reporting on information. However this can lead to some unreliable narrating.

Ultimately, a character's emotion trumps all else. If a character doesn't have a personality that would reveal all this information in an objective way then they will hide stuff or tell the information in a way that validates their own perspective.

However, in the case a character is willing to reveal information without trying to impress their ideology and beliefs onto your character you need to keep in mind what a character could reasonably know and care about.

Two characters could know the same information but prioritize others. For example, D might focus on the damn bread prices rising again while C is focused on the official's death.

Question 3: What Context The Reader Needs

Quote: "I struggle to imagine how much context the reader would want or need."

This is definitely the hardest thing to answer since this is a highly case by case basis but I will try.

The best universal measurement for what a reader needs to know is how much a character needs to know.

Your characters have information that the readers don't have and the readers have information that the characters don't have but readers don't want to know everything.

Readers need a little confusion and curiousity so they will keep reading and investigating.

The key is to get enough information out there that readers will be emotionally incentived to chase after the rest.

For Worldbuilding, unless this information directly impacts the characters then unfortunately readers just wont care about all the little details.

For future events, forshadowing and outlines are your best friend. You can also use an unconventional story formatting by having "flashbacks" be imbedded into the story as their own individual chapters.

For characters, you can use the "show, don't tell" method. Characters who aren't actively trying to deceive others will lay their personality on their clothing, their face, their room, their friends, and the way they speak.

I hope this was informative @loverboyxbutch . I genuinely appreciate your constant support and I wanted this to be an amazing post for such an amazing mutual :)

[brokenwinebox]

Mikey Told Claire About The Bear? Part 2

This won’t be an overall long post, but this is technically another segment to my meta on the question about Claire and her strange and seemingly out of place connection to knowing the name of The Bear.

Everything has gotten only weirder because of the confirmation that Claire and Donna were somewhat connected since the first episode of meeting them with the scripts and interview articles.

I personally never found the connection to Donna/Claire straight away until the Fishes episode. Although, in the aftermath of my dissertation, the scripts, and the interviews, I’ve been looking at certain things with a different perspective.

We know that Donna called him Michael after being asked to go to the dinner table by Carmy. I speculated that this Logan persona could actually just be Mikey’s personality because of Carmy’s grief.

What’s generally dark about Claire’s character gets even worse when you think on the theory of Mikey telling Claire about The Bear. I believe I’ve talked about this to some degree but the scale or magnitude of its meaning almost went completely over my head.

Donna literally called Carmy after her eldest son when asked to go to the dinner table. Carmy can’t even be his own person without being compared to Mikey. If it was Mikey’s personality he was emulating for the Logan persona, this means that Carmy felt like he couldn’t be himself at the party and Claire didn’t realize it. She was, instead, entertained by it.

(Not to mention, Neil Fak called Mikey his best friend in the very first episode of the show. Who is Neil Fak’s best friend now?)

If Claire shares attributes with Donna, who has a history (no matter how brief) of not acknowledging Carmy’s care for her as his own, then how much has Claire been projecting Mikey onto Carmy like Donna?

Anyway, here’s a video compilation of Carmy/Mikey being Neil Fak’s best friend and the weird coincidences on my theory about the Logan/Mikey personality that I already talked about in a separate post but decided to do it here in video format:

Credit to @spywhitney for catching Cicero calling Mikey an animal!

Massive Update: I made this post on August 16th. Now, I have to update the things that just clicked for me. @fresaton made a reblog about Natalie, Claire, and Carmy on @whenmemorydies’s original post about the claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card. We’re going to talk about this here since I was going to post this anyway. This feels super speculative on my part but work with me here lol. I’m going to try to connect all the dots to literally all my previous metas about Claire.

The Dinner Table

In the episode where we constantly jump in time, did they potentially skip a scene between Claire and Carmy? He looks at his scar, which is something we know is connected to Mikey, before leaving to go to The Bear. Claire and Carmy also share a scene together about that particular scar before Claire talks about the injured girl.

I have two metas on that scene. The first being about the strange topic of glass between Donna and Claire and the second was about Claire and her weird connection to mold from the scripts which also happened to have a Donna/Claire parallel.

If he did have dinner with Claire, then the reveal of Mikey telling her about The Bear could’ve happened then.

Thinking on the second episode of season three, he mentioned how he wanted them to see what they’re capable of. Sydney immediately asked who those people are.

Sydney: “Why?” Carmy: “So they can see what we’re capable of.” Sydney: “Who’s ‘they’?”

In the first part of this meta that’s linked with the title above, I noticed Carmy did the same thing when Carmy and Claire were talking by the grocery store fridges. My previous thoughts will be in italics except the dialogue as always.

Carmy: “No, I don’t think we even…We didn’t even tell anybody what the name was.” Claire: “You one hundred perfect told me the name.” Carmy: “How could you remember the name?”

The question that Carmy should have asked is how she even knew it in the first place?

Notice he said he doesn’t think THEY (Carmy and Mikey) told anyone?

Carmy literally said in the s1 finale, he realized he didn’t even know anything about him. Why would Carmy be that confident in a person he admitted to not knowing? Was it disbelief?

Is it possible the “they” that Carmy is referring to could be Chef David, Claire, and Mikey? Especially when you think on what Carmy was thinking of in the season three finale.

What gets even stranger is what I said about the “Let it Rip” reference. I mentioned that Mikey could’ve been referenced in the second episode of season three because of the weird similarities to the season 1 finale panic attack scene before the thoughts of food calmed Carmy down and Sydney getting lost in the food before Tina intercepted it.

I kind of talk about Tina specifically and how she could be the physical mother figure to Marcus and Sydney to prevent them from getting possessed on @moodyeucalyptus’s post as well.

Another question is did Claire reference to something that Carmy knew wasn’t about him in the dinner scene the same way Donna called him Michael before going to the dinner table? I had also mentioned before that it was strange that Claire would just leave Carmy in the fridge without really caring about his health as a doctor. Does this mean she came back like Sydney did? There always seem to be mirroring going on.

(We also have Ted Fak saying that everyone else is good with Claire except Carmy in the Next episode.)

The timeline is very confusing to me. If Claire came back briefly, then they could’ve set up the dinner date potentially. I went to check on Claire’s text messages because it would make sense to see what messages were previously exchanged between them.

@fresaton, you mentioned that the dinner happened on 05-30-23, I personally couldn’t see a date to the texts but I read the messages as much I could and their last exchange (from what we know) is about friends and family. There’s also the fact that I have no clue when this scene exactly happened. This would have to be after the “dinner” scene right?

We see Carmy on the train and walking (fairly similar to how season three ended) while Claire takes off her makeup and cuddles with Kelly. Between that is Sydney apologizing to Marcus on the phone about his mother and Mikey asking about the restaurant idea Carmy has.

All of this to say, if there was a dinner between them then Claire and Carmy probably would’ve had to see each other physically before meeting for dinner.

The Hauntings Of The Berzatto Siblings

Before preparing themselves for the Christmas dinner and Donna, the Berzatto siblings are out sharing a cigarette before going into the chaos.

In previous metas, I’ve discussed how Claire and Carmy’s relationship always goes back to Fishes.

Now after @whenmemorydies and @fresaton’s metas, We’re going to look at the weird connections between them with cigarettes.

In the first installment of this meta, I noticed that Mikey goes outside and Richie notices it. I thought it had alluded to Claire finding out about The Bear because Carmy sees her outside on Christmas night.

I already talked about how Richie is a fox and a caterpillar who potentially slipped the prayer card into Carmy’s pocket like Natalie did with the money. Not to mention, Richie also witnessed the Berzatto siblings smoking outside of the house before going back inside.

Richie: “Yo! Is this some family shit I should know about?” (2x06)

Carmy apologized to Richie and said he loved him before squashing a cigarette. The only time we've seen Carmy actually smoke for season three was on Christmas night where the moment between Carmy and Claire took place and when they share a cigarette together.

In my dissertation about Claire, I also found some interesting dialogue between Richie and Mikey about their morning after story. This was after Mikey came back from being outside.

Mikey: “Things are really starting to spiral out of fucking control.” Richie: “Oh, we are past the point of no return.” Mikey: “It’s not good. And now it’s the next morning right? We’re like fucking rocked.” Richie: “Rocked!” Mikey: “Like, I look over at him, I’m like, well Jesus fucking Christ, man.” Richie: “I’m looking at you and I don’t even recognize you at that point.” Mikey: “It’s like a monster.” Richie: “Yeah, cause you look like a fucking monster. Couldn’t even tell it was you.”

I had said this could be connected to s3 Carmy before the season aired. Carmy wasn’t very recognizable this season some would argue.

What if Mikey's haunting was The Beef and The Bear? He actively cut Carmy off when Carmy wanted to be apart of the family establishment. It gets even worse when you think on the jealously and resentment for Carmy being able to dream when Mikey couldn’t. Did Mikey tell Claire about The Bear in rebellion like Carmy did with the meal?

Did Carmy find out and that’s why he’s avoiding Mikey’s presence?

He, instead, wants to show what The Bear is capable of by subtracting and pushing. Is Mikey haunting the people around Carmy to get through to him? Mikey is sort of known for subtracting Carmy out of his life but pushes him when he thinks something is good for him.

Claire is also known for her pushing type of personality that caused her to become a very controversial character on the show.

For Natalie’s hauntings, it’s very interesting because we don’t actually see her smoke the cigarette before it jump cuts to Mikey smoking the cigarette. I’d assume Donna and Mikey are a major role in hers.

There was a connection I made to Natalie, Claire, Donna, and Carmy earlier.

Although, I also found parallels between Sydney and Natalie. Donna talks about a dream she had about a fish tank and when she woke up, her water broke (Natalie was born.)

I immediately had the idea that Natalie is a fish like Sydney. It feels speculative but something could be there. One thing I do know for sure though is that we don’t see Natalie or Sydney smoking the cigarette in their hands. It automatically cuts before we witness them smoking at all.

I’ve also talked about the parallel between Sydney, Luca, Claire, and Carmy. They both have best friend dialogue and a cigarette moment it seems.

For Carmy’s hauntings, it could be a whole combination of people and things, honestly. The Beef, The Bear, Chef David, Mikey, Claire, Sydney, Marcus, etc.

I’ve mentioned before that Carmy is the magician and Claire is the illusion but for the sake of my sanity, I’m not talking about that here. This is already getting far longer than I intended.

I had a brief theory about how the cigarettes could be representative of reality and avoidance for season three.

I talked about this with @thoughtfulchaos773 but I just haven’t gotten further into this yet. Although, I now might have a different theory on that. The Faks are involved in this too but I’m focused on The Berzattos at the moment. Maybe I’ll get into them later.

I have like two metas that I’ve been working on that’s a bit similar to this one as well. I just got consumed with this one very quickly.

On the topic of The Faks, @currymanganese has a meta on The Faks being Claire’s henchmen!

I’m also linking @whenmemorydies’s recent meta on Carmy, Natalie, and the Berzattos. I haven’t read it in its entirety but it could be similar to mine!

As always thank you so much for reading!! As I said before, this felt very speculative on my part. Maybe I'll make another meta to elaborate on everything. I hope this all made sense! Notice how I said in the beginning that this won’t be an overall long post? You could definitely tell I wasn’t planning all of this lmao. Oh well!

[cypherscript]

In Bad Taste Part 2

"Four feet?!" The entirety of the league at the meeting is up on their feet. "Why so fast?"

"Do you have any pictures of the orb or the bodies? Were they dead," Batman asks as he pulls up the location of the League's hideout via a satellite trying to gain visual of what she was talking about.

"All but one. Why did you send Hood? I thought he was on your no go list."

"Hood's been getting better, he was the most logical one to infiltrate the League; he was already in good graces with them when Talia used the pits to bring him back. Being on my no go list made it seem like he was no longer associated with me. I have visual, why did they have the orb out in the middle of the courtyard?"

"I have some footage of the scene, they appeared to have been trying to cast some kind of spell to link the orb with other locations or maybe to expand its radius of effect. It's not completed," Zatanna places a device into a port on the table and pictures of a large magic circle surrounds the larger orb. The next few pictures were of the corpses lined up, some of the faces looking familiar to Bruce.

"So Ras is gone then, that's the man right there."

"So it appears," Zatanna agrees, switching the screen to one of the orb, with it being so big now details not seen are clear.

Superman looks at the picture closely, "Is it just me or does that look like a a bunch of stars?"

Batman says nothing as he runs the image through multiple star charting programs, "You're correct, Superman. I'm getting multiple confirmations; Perseus-Pisces, Pisces-Cetus, Ursa Major, the Centaurus Cluster, The Milky Way, Sto-Oa, Rao. It keeps going, it shows to be every star in our sky as well."

"Rao," Superman asks, looking for the familiar star by its formation. "How old is this thing?"

"We should contact Hal and the lanterns to let them know. This could be one of theirs or maybe the Guardians know what it is?"

"I'm sending the message now," Batman types away at the keypad, "While we wait for them I'm going to check on Hood."

"We'll come with you," Diana says as Bruce moves the files to his personal device.

"Do as you wish. Zatanna bring in Constantine, we may need his help."

***

The Justice League have arrived at the compound just thirty minutes later and it is swarming with more assassins and goons. Talia's there giving orders, "Remember! Squad D, do not go near the artifact! Everyone else is fine to approach, I want this circle destroyed post haste!"

Batman had snuck his way into their camp and put Talia in a hold, "Why are you here, Talia?"

"Br-" Batman tightens his hold painfully, "Batman, I suppose you're here for Jason?"

"Where is he?!"

"He's safe, you don't want to see him right now. He's back to the way he was when I first found him. It's not a pretty sight."

"Fine, what's with the orb then? You didn't answer my question, I know your father is dead, why are you here?"

"Same reason you are I suppose, I'm putting a stop to father's plans for this artifact. He planned on linking it with every Lazarus Pit on the planet, he believed this to be the heart of the god who made the pits and wished to bring it back. To bad for him he didn't know what I now know; it's not just the Lazarus waters it's absorbing, it's also draining the energy from those who have died and come back via other means. It hasn't killed anyone yet, just makes them unable to move until they're removed from its radius."

Batman releases her and taps his comms, "Batman reporting in, stay away from the compound."

Superman's comms respond, "I heard, I was able to pull myself back before I couldn't move. Felt like the life of me was being drained. Zatanna and Constantine seem to be fine, Wonder Woman says it feels like hades is staring into her soul from here."

"It feels like it's looking at me," Shazam pipes in.

"Noted, fill them in on what's going on. We need some league members who haven't been resurrected before. Let Talia's men destroy the circle then we can figure out a way to get it off the planet and away from the pits."

"Well aren't you the lucky lot," Hal's voice comes in over their comms, "Calvary's here. I can get it off planet for you."

______________________________________________

And there we go, part 2 like I promised. Also you were close @victoria-has-no-secret but it's ALL of the people who've been resurrected not just the pits. mwahahaha Now to get the tag list out of the way. hope I'm doing this right... As I was typing this up, it seemed like I made the Orb sound like an SCP... hmm, thoughts for future works.

@mnemovoid @may-rbi @cugzarui @ekatkit @farmercale @blackroserelina @justwannabecat @dragonborne-writer @aikoiya @chrysanthemum9484

[mama-qwerty]

Okay, I'm gonna get political here.

I've been seeing some alarming posts going around, in which people seem to think that Biden is somehow as bad as, or worse than, Trump. And a lot of the reasoning seems to come down to how he's dealing with Israel. He's not doing enough to stop Israel and is actively supporting them. Which, he has to, because the US is Israel's ally.

Is it ideal? Is it great? NO. It absolutely sucks, and we really should not be involved, and be doing more to stop them.

But that seems to be the single issue most people mention when talking about not voting for him. And my question to them is, do you seriously think Trump will handle it any better??

And let's put Palestine aside right now. I know it's terrible, I know it's my privilege to look away for a moment, but I implore you, I fucking BEG you to remember that the US president affects laws and policies here, which affects each and every American who lives here.

This post lists, in a convenient little checkbox format, what each candidate is for and against. As you can see, Trump will support Israel, too. Moreso than Biden. But he will also remove rights and destroy protections for countless other groups.

Both candidates are absolutely NOT THE SAME. Biden, while not perfect, has done a lot of good for the country, it's just not reported because negative things get more views than positive. He had A LOT of cleanup to do after Trump finally dragged his ass out of the White House. And he's done what he could.

I get that Biden isn't ideal. He's not who I would want, either. But he's the Democratic candidate, and we absolutely cannot afford to "send Washington a lesson" by abstaining or voting third party. We are a two party system, and with Trump on the ballot, we cannot, CAN FUCKING NOT afford to split our forces.

Every Republican will be out in droves, casting their vote for Trump. One vote for a third party candidate, is a vote for Trump. If you do not vote for Biden, you are essentially handing Trump the victory.

This country will not survive another Trump presidency.

I sincerely believe that. The damage he did the first time around was bad enough, when he didn't know what he was doing. But now? Now he's had 4 years to scheme and plot and work behind the scenes with his cronies so that when/if he gets back into office, he can go all in on gutting the government, stacking the Supreme Court, enacting whatever laws he likes, and simply declaring himself dictator and never leaving office again.

And the Republicans will help him.

Every one of those spineless bootlickers will be trailing behind him, nodding like a fucking bobblehead, agreeing with whatever asinine idea tumbles out of his third grade brain.

"For the good of the country," they'll cry, as they gut support for the poor.

"For the helpless little babies," they'll weep, eliminating health care services for women and removing any help for families.

"Make America Great Again," they'll chant as they send the military to drag children away from parents and lock them in cages because they dared come to the US--a country that was founded on the backs of immigrants--for a better life.

Republicans only care about keeping themselves rich and in power. They don't care about the poor. They don't care about women or minorities or LGBTQ+ rights. They don't care about YOU. They only care about themselves. They've proven it time and time again, yet they always try to convince their base that it's really the Democrats and radical Left who are the bad guys. Because they constantly want to *checks notes* make sure people are safe, healthy, and cared for.

And that's not the America the Republicans want.

I am begging all US voters to look past Palestine, for just a moment, and realize that choosing the wrong man in November will have very, very, VERY long lasting repercussions for this country. We can't afford to "send a message". We can't afford to simply not vote. We can't afford to throw out the old "they're all the same" line.

THEY'RE NOT.

Please, please, please. Think about the people who will be hurt under another Trump administration. Think of those who will lose their support, lose their aid, lose their protections. Think of those who can't protect themselves.

The only message we need to send to Washington this November is NOT TRUMP. NEVER TRUMP.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Hi there! Hope you’re having a lovely Sunday :)

I love the theory you just posted in response to the Abby/BT breakup anon!! The only thing that worries me is Oliver specifically saying he could see Buck in queer spaces only IF Buck and Tommy are on a break… He also said something like “whether or not Tommy is Buck’s forever partner…” in that same interview. Isn’t this basically him implying that BT are still together at least as of 8x08 (since that’s what they are filming right now)? On the other hand this could also just be Oliver saying all of this to avoid any potential spoilers!

Side note: I also just think it’s very strange that lfjr liked a tweet with a meme of him drinking “buddie tears” while he is still on the show. Just unprofessional behavior imo. Especially since you would think he would want more buddie fans to like Tommy so it could keep him on the show. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hey Nonnie.

So I’ve pulled up the quotes for reference, and we do need to remember he can’t directly give anything away about things relating to the finality of bucks relationship with tommy, he has to answer the questions as if they are still together regardless of what he has filmed and why he knows - because he knows where the audience are in the story at the time of publication of the interview. Actors usually get a briefing sheet for each interview or set of interviews they’re giving (if they’re doing multiple interviews one day) - which will include the intended publication date for said interview - so Oliver would’ve known these two interviews were going out in time for 805, and that will give him an idea of what he can and can’t say. There may be information on the briefing relating to this as well.

The show needs to create intrigue without giving the game away and as far as the ga especially, bt are together and in a fairly good place at this point in time.

Oliver’s response was to a question relating to a throwback from bucks past. Now the question itself doesn’t directly refer to love interests, but it is implied, and that is fairly important.

He didn’t need to answer the above question with the below answer - why did he need to bring up the idea of them being on a break? He could’ve gone with ‘oh it would be really fun to have buck and tommy bump into one of bucks old girlfriends. I’m trying to think of which one would be best for this.’

But instead he went with on a break.

Then he proceeds to talk about Buck putting himself into queer spaces and being shepherded by Lucy (I am massively paraphrasing but the actual quote is below) in those spaces.

There is literally no reason to take this route on this question unless you’re hinting at something without being direct about it. It’s a very subterfuge-y answer - very much of the type we’ve seen Oliver give before and very much in keeping with some of the things he was saying about Lucy in the s5b interviews he was giving in terms of answering in a slightly odd way that when read after the episodes have played out suddenly make a lot more sense (I don’t have the time to find the quotes I mean but I’m sure if you Google you can find them!)

So we have an answer that gave a lot of random detail that the question didn’t really warrant. And then the second quote you mention;

That quote doesn’t really feel to me that it implies bt are still together in 808 - the language is generally past tense - ‘have been’ not will always be his first and ‘always be,’ I think, huge importance… again past tense - again in an answer where he could’ve used present tense - in fact the first ‘have been his’ instead of just saying ‘be his’ is more indicative of the relationship, if not being fully over, more or less over (if we’re getting them on that break Oliver spoke of!)

Oliver isn’t going to say anything to spoil things for the audience at this point - the big hurdles he and Tim have spoken of haven’t actually appeared yet and we don’t know what format they’re going to take (I have my theories, but we don’t actually know!) and how make it break for the relationship they are going to be.

We also don’t have a timeframe for how things are going to fully play out. I’m of the opinion that 812 is the episode when we’ll see buddie go canon, but that’s just my feeling (because it will be episode 118 and Tim likes to play with numbers!), it could just as easily be buddie going canon in 817 or 818 or any episode number in between, it really is dependent on how things get paced for both Buck and Eddie’s arcs, as well as the stories they want to tell for the other characters - because this is an ensemble show and there will be episodes focused on madney and henren and bathena.

I don’t for the life of me believe that Tim would have Tommy be Bucks endgame when he’s developing his character in this way. It would be incredibly easy to make Tommy likeable and a good partner for Buck with very little additional screen time needed - the scenes we’ve already had, reworked would achieve this. But no they’ve gone the direction they have and that in and of itself is pretty telling.

And even if buddie isn’t the end goal here, I don’t think they’d have buck figure out he’s bi and jump into a first relationship with a man and have it be endgame - and do it at the rushed pace they did, that’s just not how this type of tv works!

As for the lfj tweet liking thing he’s been on - well all I have to say is that it’s remarkably similar behaviour to Megan west and edy gangem and we all know what happened to their characters shortly after their little spate of crazy on Twitter main! The man has already behaved very unprofessionally with his cameos etc and was clearly reined in by the network in some way (I don’t pretend to know the details of what happened, all I know is that it’s highly suspicious that he went complete and utter radio silence for the entire hiatus and until after his return had been revealed and that the show sm pages did exactly the same). Regardless of if he is still on the show or not, he’s not doing himself any favours and his character remains an undeveloped lite version of both Buck and Eddie

[wing-dingy]

Remember when I said I wasn't gonna post fanfics? I lied. I'm gonna post just this one as an excuse to have some Johnshi in my life but also because its rare I write a fic that isnt a self indulgent oc fic

This is just a lil fic where Kenshi comforts Johnny after a stunt on set leaves him with an injured ankle, mostly cute banter. Also sorry if the formatting looks weird, i dont normally post fics to tumblr so idk how to space my paragraphs like I do on google docs.

Click. Step. Click. Step.

The Hollywood actor carried himself on his crutches across the room, from the door to his living room couch, where he saw Kenshi waiting in anticipation.

“Honey, I'm home,” Johnny announced in a parody of those old movies, how he loved his dumb movie references.

“Doesn't sound like good news. Are those crutches?” Kenshi asked, judging by the sound and the patterns of the sound. Though he usually relied on Sento for sight, he hardly ever felt the need to in a casual setting, so it rested in the mantle above the fireplace.

“Yeup. Doc says I'll need ‘em for a few weeks, a month at most.”

Kenshi crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. “Was that stunt still worth it?”

Johnny snorted, “Totally, the shot came out perfect! You may not know this, but I do all of my own stunts. Impresses everybody when I tell them that!” He dropped a small paper bag of his prescribed painkillers on the coffee table and sat next to Kenshi, wincing as he lifted his ankle to rest it on the same table.

“Aren't stuntmen used so the real actors don't get hurt?”

“I mean- yeah. But don't worry, they're just gonna film everything else until I come back, which should be in no time. I'm just built different.”

Kenshi could just hear the cocky smile, causing him to shake his head in disbelief, but he couldn't hold back the small bit of laughter at Johnny’s pride and confidence. “Alright, but it looks like it's my turn to take care of you again.”

“Don't sweat it, Ken doll, I can take care of myself. You've already helped me enough, and you've got yourself to look after,” He noted all too seriously. Obviously there still rested some guilt in his heart over Mileena's rabid attack that day.

“That ankle needs to rest. That movie needs you and you need the money from it.” Undeniable. Johnny was still getting back on his feet (not literally now) after a messy and expensive divorce, he needed whatever work he could get at the moment. “You just let me know when you need something.”

Johnny sighed as he looked down at his injured ankle. These next few weeks were going to be the most boring while of his life.

Kenshi seemed to know Johnny wasn't feeling so good by the sudden quietness, not even a silly request from his offer. When Johnny of all people was quiet, there was a problem. “Johnny? You alright?”

“Yeah… I've just never been good at sitting still and doing nothing, you know? Now I can't even use my own pool in my living room,” He complained, as if having a pool in the living room was a normal thing.

“Come on, Johnny, you still have a whole mansion. Unless your attention span really is that small, you're not gonna get bored,” Kenshi lovingly poked at him. “It’s not like you're alone either.”

Johnny noded with a small smile of comfort. “That's right, I've got you, my best friend, boyfriend, and assigned FBI agent,” Johnny joked. Gods, not again with the assigned FBI agent meme. “And hey, maybe we can invite Kung Lao and Raiden over to hang out. You think Liu Kang would wanna drop by?”

Kenshi gave an amused smirk. “Probably not, but Kung Lao, might.”

Johnny looked down at the table again, spotting a marker. He groaned and wheezed as he leaned over to grab it, trying not to move his ankle off the table as his finger tips barely touched the marker.

“Johnny what are you-” Before he could finish his question, he felt a marker tapping against his hand.

“You wanna be the first to sign my cast?” Johnny offered, trying to play it off cool but his excitement was slipping past in his voice.

“You mean Hollywood’s megastar wants my autograph?” Kenshi teased. He took the marker into his hand, and Johnny guided his hand down to his cast. Confidently, Kenshi began writing his name.

“Not bad writing for someone who can't really see,” Johnny complimented, meaning it obviously and trying to make it sound like that rather than a mockery.

“I still know the motions of writing, that's enough to get by.” Of course Johnny hadn't seen Kenshi's messier writing at his job and maybe it should stay that way.

The real surprise was the small heart he drew right below his own name. Kenshi wasn't so into PDA, nor into cutesy stuff like that, so it caught Johnny off guard to see the small display. It wasn't like people didn't know they were dating, Johnny was way too into showing off their love and too loud to keep that secret, but it was rather that Kenshi was a more subtle lover when it came to their relationship, preferring to keep things behind doors. Still, it was a nice surprise, and at least now it made the cast way better to look at! Of course Johnny was already pulling out his phone to snap a photo of it to post to his socials.

“You're posting your cast, aren't you?” Kenshi reasonably accused.

“Gotta let the fans know production might be on hold.”

“Is that it? Or are you bragging about us again?”

Johnny snickered, meaning Kenshi was right. “Okay, you got me, but how can I not show you off? You're the coolest! A blind swordsman? Dating Hollywood's biggest hit? We're like a power couple!”

If Kenshi still had his eyeballs, he'd be lovingly rolling them, but admittedly it was kind of cute seeing how enthusiastic Johnny was about their relationship- and kind of funny to think about considering they were previously rivals over Sento.

Kenshi leaned in to press a kiss to Johnny's cheek, and he could feel the wrinkles of a smile under his lips. “Looks like you're feeling better about that ankle.”

“As long as I have you by my side, this injury is gonna be a breeze!” Now it was Johnny's turn to lean in, this time leaning to rest his head on Kenshi with closed eyes and a content smile. Kenshi reciprocated by wrapping an arm around Johnny to hold him. “Shit, that medicine they gave me is starting to catch up.”

“You get sleepy off of a couple Tylenols,” Kenshi playfully quipped, making Johnny laugh.

“Just saying it's a good excuse to nap on you! Unless you're gonna tele-fling me to bed again.”

Kenshi shook his head. “Maybe when your ankle isn't as broken. Right here is fine, just keep your ankle up.”

“Sweet,” Johnny happily murmured as he felt himself starting to doze off. Damn, Tylenol really did knock him out.

[active-mind-15]

Just thought of some Akashi videogame headcanons

So first of all because of all the extra studies and activities he was made to do throughout his childhood, he originally did not play video games at all. He just never had the time and his father considered them to be unproductive, anyway. So, he never grew up with any video game console in his house.

The only exposure he had to video games came from other people, more specifically the Teiko gang. Kise, Aomine, and Murasakibara specifically played a lot of video games in their free time, and if Akashi was around, he'd lean over them to get a peek at their screens (I would imagine they'd be bringing their PSPs or DSs to school or something). Sometimes, Akashi would ask questions about the games that they were playing, because he would just be so curious as to how fun it is to play them, and if they sense that Akashi is really interested they'd give him a turn with their console.

And, of course, Akashi, being the out-of-touch person that he is (bless his precious little heart), ends up getting taught by the other miracles how to play the games. He listens very intently and is a quick learner, though, so once he understands the rules he's really good.

And since he met Midorima and was friends with someone who finally shared his interest in shogi, Akashi started playing online games with him when they weren't at school. I vaguely remember from like an interview or something with Fujimaki that Akashi's online handle is Red Emperor, which is just... very fitting. Either way, even though Akashi did not play console games, he would always do online shogi matches with Midorima which would then expand into other games like chess and Othello. And those kept up all the way until high school. But since he wasn't hanging out with the other former Teiko members like he used to, his video game exposure went right back down to zero.

Eventually, post-Winter Cup, when the former Teiko members start hanging out together again, he starts getting exposed to video games again through the others, and the miracles finally just tell him he should get some games of his own to try out. At first, he wasn't sure about getting a console, but they told him that he could just get PC games to start and if he's comfortable with the PC format then he can just stick with it.

Case in point, Aomine sends him the link for Steam via text with the message "Go crazy".

Lemme tell you, this boy clicks on that link and SCROLLS. Again, as someone who was never familiar with the video game realm, this feels like stepping into a new world. With all the options for games, it's almost overwhelming, but eventually, he starts picking game categories that stick out to him and combing through different game trailers and synopses with a mindset of "I'll pick three games to test out and see how I feel after that."

^^^ Famous last words

Fast-forward to some time after that, and Akashi has very much found an appreciation for video games and regularly tries new ones that interest him.

Since he's a very intelligent person, I would like to think that rather than playing video games to relax and not use his brain for a while, he's the type to play video games that are intellectually stimulating. He likes to be challenged and use his wits to complete the games he plays.

Because of that, I would say his video game preferences probably fall into strategy (specifically turn-based and tabletop strategy) and puzzle games (which include puzzle platformers). He's also a big fan of story-rich games and will play through the occasional visual novel as well.

When he tells the former Teiko members he started getting into video games, they make it a point at every subsequent meetup to ask about any current ones he's playing and what he thinks of them. Sometimes, they'll keep an eye out for upcoming games within his favorite genres and show him trailers of games they think he'd like.

Whenever he's invested in a trailer he'll get this sparkle in his eye that the others pretend they don't notice but secretly look out for to know whether or not they're on the right track.

Also, after successfully getting Akashi into video games, the rest of the former Teiko members (mainly Aomine and Kise) convince him to download a few co-op games that they all can play together.

So whenever all of them have free time, Aomine or Kise will send some bat signal message to their group chat to assemble and they all get on their computers to play.

As time goes on, the co-op gaming sessions eventually become a bi-weekly event, and Akashi tries his best to shift his schedule around so he doesn't miss them.

His current teammates at Rakuzan notice him disappearing or being unavailable on certain days and ask Akashi what's been occupying his time so much, thinking that it would be something school-related. When he tells them he's actually just playing co-op games with his former teammates, they think it's the cutest fucking thing ever (especially Mibuchi).

Eventually, video games become more than just a way to pass the time, they become another outlet for Akashi to just... be a regular teen and not have to worry about being perfect at what he's doing? They help relieve his stress and give him something to take his mind off school. And the Uncrowned Kings notice he's happier because of it. Most importantly of all, he gets to connect more with his Teiko friends like he always wanted.

[BONUS]

Sometime in the distant future, after graduating high school, he convinces his father to let him have a one-bedroom apartment close to his campus with the excuse that it'll make commuting easier. After moving in and unpacking his stuff, the former Teiko members get a text in their group chat from Akashi with a picture of a Nintendo Switch and seven controllers with the message "Anyone up for a game?"

[ask-shane]

frequently asked questions

where do i send an ask? - here! 

i sent something in and you didn't answer it. where did it go? lots of possible answers… - the most likely answer is that i haven’t gotten to it yet - i could have deleted it for various reasons - it may not have gone through for various reasons

how do i find your post response to an ask that i sent anonymously? - the easiest way would probably be to search what you said in the blog's search bar, like this. it's okay if you don't remember exactly what you sent. use any keywords you think would prompt it to turn up!

is shane romanceable here? can i eventually ‘date’ or ‘marry’ him? - you can flirt with him and go on ‘dates’, but he will remain single for this blog. developing strong friendships here is encouraged though :-)

what are “events”? - events will occur when something special is happening in the blog universe. they will center around a specific “event” for a limited amount of time, in which you can send asks that pertain to it

can i roleplay with shane using my OCs? - yes, however, keep extended roleplay in text-only format. if we’re going back and forth in an OC roleplay, please do not keep sending images of them!

can i send an ask even if it doesn’t have a question? - sure! this is also a roleplay blog. but please keep in mind that in some instances i may not be able to reply if there isn't a specific point

can shane see my reblogs and comments? - reblogs, sometimes. only if they are specifically calling to him. as for comments under my blog posts, he can see those! - in-character roleplay continues in the comment section so feel free to try that if you'd like

does this blog include crossovers with other media or my own oc universe? - not extensively and i apologize for that. you can still use your OCs to roleplay, but know that asks are presumed to be in the canon stardew universe

can i spam interact? - you’re welcome to “spam like” or comment/reblog as much as you’d like :-) - i only ask that you do not send the same ask again and again

can i make fan art, fan edits, or other fan works for the blog? - absolutely, please do! these make my day and i’d love to see them. tag me or send it in the ask box directly